my awesome graph
stress vs time graph.
we start of with the slow incline of stress when we start the year. stress levels are already slightly elevated even at time 0 due to the type of personality that enters med school- type As.
First episode of panic attack is a mild one when school administrators starts briefing us about our impending exams.
then the first major attack is when you notice your batchmates all getting stressed out about it.
The incline gets steeper when revision starts and you realise how much you have no clue about. panic attacks are more frequent now.
major "OH SH!T" moment is when you start counting down DAYS (not months or weeks) and realise the amount of crap you have to go through. i start posting "i am so stressed; i am doomed; i am stupid" entries on my blog. pace of studying steps up significantly.
then stress goes down when you realise, "hey actually, i do know something now" and the belief is validated when you start having group study sessions. unfortunately, pace of studying slows down significantly (scrubs has taken over my life yet again).
the last major panic moment is on exam day, outside the hall. that episode of panic is of sheer terror- the one that plagues every medical student when they are stood outside the OSCE stations literally feeling like they are going to pee themselves. we all have signs of an adrenaline storm- dry throat, cold clammy hands, blood pressure and heart rate through the roof and blood rushes to our amygdala instead of our cortexes, where all our hard earned knowledge is stored. instead of muttering the answer that we know, in our heads we are trying our best to suppress the natural urge to scream and run away. or maybe for some people, punch the examiner's face. it's not called fight or flight response for nothing.
finally, when the final station is done and over, the stress levels finally swoop down to 0. seriously, it's like someone finally opening the windows in a very very musty room. the relief that comes..... best feeling ever.
wish me the best of luck guys. finals in 3 days :) can't wait for this to be done and over