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7:00 pm
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the voice i hear in my head is not the same voice that other people hear.

.....i'm not on drugs

It should be pretty obvious that it should be different. But i don't get recorded a lot and when i stumbled across a video with me talking crap, i was like "does my voice really sound that annoying?"

so google i did. and yes. found the answer to that.

i can't stand my "real" voice which is what other people hear.

apparantly, because of the sound resonating fr
the vocal cords to the cochlear passing through bones, sinuses, etc
the actual sound waves being transmitted through air, when we hear ourselves talking, it'll be a mix of those 2 frequencies. The one passing through bones and etc will be of lower frequency. So whatever we hear when we speak, other people will hear it as higher pitched.

So normally studios have those net like thingys before the mic to capture the lower frequencies to make it sound... true-er?

That explains y those really bad singers at American Idol think they can sing so well.
I wonder if the effect varies person by person though. Cause i know some family members who aren't that surprise when they hear themselves recorded.

I must have some really cun resonating device in my anatomy somewhere cause what i hear and what i hear recorded sound very different.
Thus, I hate my voice. freaking annoying. wonder how my friends and family can stand it.

Or maybe like one random stranger in the Internet pointed out, people are usually so used to hearing what they perceive their voice is, when they hear their recorded voice they can't believe that's what they sound like so they can't get used to it = hate.
Friends and family should be used to my voice already by now so i shouldn't be too worried about annoying them.

I just have to stay away from recording devices so i don't annoy the hell out of myself.
6:55 pm
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Off i shall head to malacca, bandar bersejarah. The thing with ancient cities are that ppl usually go there to visit maybe once? twice? cause the same monuments will be there all the time.

This is the 50th? time i'm heading back there. Whenever the word malacca is mentioned, it makes me cringe slightly.
Maybe its because of the company.
Not that i dislike my extended family. But its because our family has probably the worst case of zip-locked mouths. Cousins rarely talk to each other.
Which is weird. Cause most of my cousins are mostly around my age (age gap of about 5 yrs-ish?) Same age group so it means we should get along pretty well right?

weirdly, no.

Weird awkward air fills the living room each time we are gathered. Only the adults can chit-chat till 3am. We all just linger round- watch tv, go upstairs, read book, watch tv, eat (repeat x10).

Not to mention, there is no astro, no internet. At least they have a tv.

And there is nothing to sightsee over there. All the shops are closed. All hawker stalls are closed. Mahkota parade is the smaller version of Summit. A Famosa is just a brick building with no roof and a well in the middle. Jonker street all sell too much tourist souvenir stuff.
All museums are overcharging crap. What else is there to see? I remember their beach as quite horrific too. I went there as a little girl and was so excited to see the beach i kicked off my slippers to run in the "soft" sand. I had to run back to get my slippers later as there were all kind of crap in the sand- broken branches, shards of glass, giant rocks, etc.
I don't think their beach has improved much.
Bukit Cina- hill with lots of tombstones- is only 5 minutes walk away from my aunt's place. So i've seen that place a lot of times.

Not to mention the freaking traffic jam in the city.

happy cny anyway.
11:37 am
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Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the that someone or something will not harm them that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

- Wikipedia

Just wondering how would wikipedia define something so ambigious.
9:46 am
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this just begged to be uploaded. so here u go:

naughty monash ppl.....
3:56 am
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things to do:
I can't wait for my week long holiday.
driving driving
12:45 pm
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Driving to nilai tomorrow.

gasp. first time i'm gonna drive cross a state border. and clueless me; i always thought nilai was part of selangor till i saw the address in the handout given by IMU.
perhaps i won't be driving since we didn't technically ask everyone. Maybe someone with better experience shall drive? (cross fingers?)

Since i'm darn scared of being lost on the North-South highway ( I might just end up in Seremban! or Malacca! or maybe JB!!), I looked up how to get to nilai. Not too bad but from what i see fr google maps (i love google, don't you?) the map IMU provided is seriously seriously VERY VAGUE. Actually, i can't even figure out how to go to Nilai Clinic using the map IMU provided (and satellite view provided by Google)

But i found out a fun fact. If you drive upnorth, everyone knows u can cross the Thai border. But did you know that the network of roads extends all the way to Iran?
Cool le.. so you can drive to Iran if you wanted to (it's 13,177 km in total. so if you spend 12 hrs/day driving at 90km/h, u'll reach there in nearly 2 weeks.)
4:19 am
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weird dream

weird weird weird weird

i dreamt i was married.

but i'm still living in the same old house with my parents.
can't remember who the husband was. weirdness
weird. it's too darn weird

i get weird dreams when i fall asleep reading medical notes.

or when i relax after a stressful period (post EOS. i got a dream i twinned to Alaska fr IMU. then another weird dream but i can't remember what was it about)
New Year post
3:41 am
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(potentially boring post. go away readers who have eye-allergy to somewhat emo post)

Oh.. looks like i forgot a new year post with all my ramblings on self-pity.
Now that i'm well again (and about to scoot off to uni in 45 mins), here's my new year post.

One thing i love to do before writing this is look back i what i wrote on the 1st last year.
And that was a pretty emo-sad post.

2008 was the year i went to uni and went for the infamous IMU orientation.
IMU now is the place i curse regularly about on a daily basis but still end up going back there everyday.
I learnt to drive so much better and now I'm driving to IMU everyday
I met Joanne, Chong Sen, Jeremy, Jae Ric, Esther and so many other people in uni. We shared pretty fun times together that year but I still feel the closest to dearest joanne and chong sen (aka the 3 musketeers)
I kept my resolution and still keep in touch with my college buddies (dear Sabby, Yi Wen, ganesh and ashC + wee kiat and tony) and of course my high school buddies (all of which i met during my holidays)
I slept at 12pm at one point and crammed so much infomation over a span of 1 week for all the exams i sat for. And continued to forgot those said infomation in 2 days.

2009? Another 1.5 yrs more in Malaysia (hopefully. as in i pass all my exams and not get retained another yr or two. lol)
More driving on the LDP and more awkward moments to come.
And I look forward to spend time with my closest buddies and chatting nonsense over MSN with the yum cha gang.

And I really like to thank Yen. Cause i read back my old sms-es (my handphone has sms since like... september) and i think she gave me the most support when i was stressing out over my EOS and my brief emo period during the start of uni. But prob Kaye, Yeen and XX gave me support over MSN too. hahahaha

3:41 pm
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holidays are over.


and i still haven't change my layout. still no ideas. nvm but i kind of like this layout again. the chatbox prominent.