weird crap. i feel nostalgic listening to this. it reminds me of my carefree days where i'll just sit at home playing the playstation all day. instead, i'm stuck in my box apartment, trying to churn out a 3000 word essay and due to be getting up in 6 more hours. life sucks

"Alright. let's see who is here; Harry-"
   "Here"
"Sarah-"
   "Here"
"Laura-"
   "Yup"
"ermm.. Soak Chin?"
   "Oh.. It's actually Sook Cheng. But you can just call me Suzy"

For those uninformed, I'm known as Suzy to the Western world. lol. My brother named me basically. Cause right after I landed the first question he asked me was what will my name be. I said Sooky. He said they will never remember my name. After a few random names (Stephanie, Susan, etc) he said Suzy. At first I was like "noooooooo" Then he introduced me to his friend's housemate (ang moh) as "here's sook cheng. or u can call her suzy" and from then onwards the housemate knew me as suzy. so ok fine. i accepted the name
And seriously... it's way better then hving them address you as "hey" "er" "umm"

All my malaysian friends HAVE TO CALL ME SOOK CHENG. NO EXCUSES. Unless you consider yourself to be an acquaintance and not my friend. hmph.

my heart is bleedinggggg......... cardiac tamponade

man. i need to be more gangsta on the wards.
i need 400 g Confidence tds
500g Timidness inhibitors qds

wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf

my brain just exploded in my skull

i just watched a baby bunny die. on youtube. by a woman. who sat on it. purposely. and laughed. and 2 other women laughed as she did it.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? why did i have to watch that video?????
how i stumbled across it: a friend on fb posted up the link and just commented: want to slap that bitch
ok. i thought it should be a video of some women doing stupid things. and i was bored
*click*
the women was just playing with bunny. the bunny was super cute. then the shit happen. i honestly just cringed and looked at the ceiling until the video stopped.

then i did a bit of googling. apparently it's a "fetish" in china called crush fetish. they get "beautiful" women to basically kill little animals by stomping on them, crushing them basically. then these videos are sold. like. omg. both the seller and the buyer are all equally sick. i don't know how they are considered beautiful since all i see is a retarded women who should get crushed with a baseball bat to her head. ughh.....
i'm so sad that this world is so sick. sickening. and the government doesn't even ban them. sick sick sick

i need to go rinse my eyes with bleach now.

thank you to all my dear dear friends.
it's really good to know that i'm not really alone after all.

but the day is getting so much shorter, the weather much colder and the workload piles on, i guess it's only normal to feel down occasionally. but nevertheless... behind my mind, i know i hv all u guys.

onwards ho! baby steps to graduation. hahaha

sometimes i wonder why i bothered to come all the way here, 12 hrs long flight, to:
1) leave all my friends behind in m'sia
2) to basically be alone
3) suffer the cold and wet weather
4) experience longer nights thanks to winter
5) eat crappy microwave food
6) not be able to call home thanks to time difference

i've asked myself this qw so many times... did i make a mistake in choosing the pms route? would i be better off choosing seremban? my parents wanted me to do seremban so much but i was stubborn and stuck to my choice. they told me that i shouldn't regret my choice since they've advised against it so much.

and i sincerely don't want to.

but after a long crappy day at uni, you really just want to go back and complain and talk crap to friends or parents. instead, i come back to an empty room with an electronic square screen as my best companion.

then i regret my choice.

:(