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ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This annoys me to hell!! I can't even express how annoyed i am.
It cannot be written in words.
I can just say that I feel like throwing something out the window now.

What am I annoyed about?
My horrible sense of direction.

I feel so utterly useless with directions. I got lost 2 days in a row. IN THE SAME AREA
I now have a phobia of going to unknown places. I feel apprehensive about driving to an area.
This feels just like when I first started out driving.
I'm so scared to drive anywhere.
And it's so annoying because I was somewhat confident in my driving skills. I thought I had a good sense of direction. Turns out not.
It's like a curse!!! I keep driving in the opposite direction of where i'm supposed to head.

UGHHHHHH
I feel horrible. I feel like I've wasted so much time and energy. And it's surprising that i'm feeling this only 2 hours later after i've reached home.
Horrible, annoying, HORRIBLE

ughhh... summatives was not hard but i didn't study as hard as i should have.
i think i already can guess the outcome (unless a miracle happen and my paper got mixed up :D). it'll be lower than my usual average. which is not good at all.
ah well... only have me to blame.
really slack this semester. :(

have this weird down feeling after the summatives. it's supposed to be a happy and joyous moment!!! really don't know what's wrong with me. it probably has something to do with the dude saying he only had 1 wrong for one whole section of the paper (which carries like... 40% of our marks)

grrrrrrr.... my kiasu heart is crying. ignorance is really bliss

ok... i didn't manage to do 2nd round of studies. which is badddd.
bad sooky

and i didn't manage to stay off my computer...
bad sooky

and i still managed to watch tv today...
bad sooky

but i really can't be bothered anymore.
+ i never actually do 2nd readings...... ahahahaha. always too last minute for 2nd readings.
dunno how some crazy people can do 3-4 rounds of reading.
and our notes can be equivalent to a mountain. cause i think for this exam, we had to read about 60 notes.

next semester will be soooo fun. 9 systems x (20+) notes= 180 notes.

please, blogger gods, blessp me with luck as this shall be my last post before i head off to sleep.
ahahahaahha

this is how i procrastinate

nowadays, when i see acronyms like icf, rbc, sob, rcc i think of medical terms.

yes! now i know i'm on the fast track to being a lunatic doctor

u know, some congenital abnormality would enable some people to pee out of their umbilicus. :D

since joanne wrote a post about selectives... i'm going to write one too. hmph (hahahaha. the kiasuness!! it's terrifying)
or maybe it's just some electrolyte/hormonal imbalance thing happening to me at 5am (no, i didn't just woke up)

anyway, i got the psycho selectives: BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

why?

cause I want to be a more efficient serial killer.
You know, coaxing cynical city people to come into your car can be pretty handy.
And like all serial killer courses, the lectures take place in the evening (oooo.... see, they release us at 5am, by the time we go back to our houses, that's when all the joggers come out.... easy picking...)

Since we are all a bit psycho, we have 2 hours of just talking and talking. and yes, including a 3 hour group discussion. I hope its like PBL. We finish early, we go home early :D
Sadly, unlike other cooler serial killer classes, it's about modifying your own behaviour. Actually it's easier I guess. I foresee a lot of actual bs taking space in my essay.

I can already imagine what my day will be like:
Watch movie, go for lectures, eat dinner, go out, come back, sleep
ahhhhh... glorious life.

oh, our schedule is pretty relaxed too. Everyone was so worried that this selective will have so many lectures. in fact we only have about 5 actual lectures. the rest are mainly discussions/meetings.

Certainly anything is better than what i'm doing now:
Wake up, procrastinate, study, procrastinate, study, procrastinate, study, watch tv+dinner, procrastinate, study like mad woman since there's only 3 hours left before I have to go to sleep, SLEEP.

Procrastinate- consist of any of the following activities:
1. typing this blog entry
2. logging into MSN/facebook
3. checking my email 3 times a day
4. watching tv
5. jumping around
6. watching mosquitoes buzz around
7. watching water drip from the tap
8. daydreaming
9. staring into space AKA stoning
10. looking through my brother's SPM papers.
(oh, i just looked through the sejarah question paper and OMG.... i still remember some of the stuff I shouldn't be remembering. this just proves sec school really did spoil my brain. go away sejarah rubbish.... i want my medical facts now........T_T)


ps: HAHAHAHA... i laughed when I saw the schedule for those who took community medicine. Poor souls have to wake up so early even when it's a pseudo holiday

prematching.............
summatives.............

the end is near.

makes me wonder if i'll be able to cope living out there on my own.
[well, i guess it's not as bad as some people who doesn't have financial support from their parents. really admire those who can study+ work to support their education at the same time.]
so far i've been living a pretty sheltered life. and as much as i hate to admit it, i've been pretty pampered all my life (and will continue to be. ahahahaha).

time shall tell eventually. it always does.

on another note, my brother asked me to go to China for 1 month to go brush up on my mandarin. So i can become an ex-banana. Cause a banana friend of his forced himself to travel from china-> hong kong in a month alone, backpacking. When he came back, he could speak much better mandarin and cantonese. Definitely helps that his friend was male.
But actually the prospects of travelling alone for 1 month just frightens me. And in a place where I can hardly understand a word.
So what do you people think? Would you dare to backpack alone in a foreign country where you cannot speak their language? (let's just assume that the country is very safe and males has no less risk of getting assaulted compared to females.)

when you're in despair....

... you yearn for happier times.

that for me is the time spent in melbourne with my sister. the nights we just watched movies together and ate pizza. hahahaa, we watched mostly ghost movies that my sis found.
there's the

• korean's tale of 2 sisters
  
• my short review: could see the scriptwriter was trying hard to have a surprise ending but the ending didn't explain a lot of things. So the attempt failed. Surprise endings are best when they answer all the questions raised in the film.
  I give it 2/5 stars
  

• icelandic? vampire story (actually it's more of a poignant strange love story than a horror film). Oh finally found the title: Let The Right One In.
  
• It's more like the sinister version of Twilight. Less mainstream because of it's strange and tragic storyline. I really liked this movie. 4/5 stars
  

• Japanese Dollmaster which we in the end were too scared to watch thanks to a very eerie and creepy beginning. 5/5 stars for making my back crawl.
  

Then there's My Sassy Girl, some other hollywood movie which i cannot remember.

Then there's the night spent at Codrington and Dean's Marsh where we camwhored and watched Bladerunner and Pulp Fiction.

It was lucky my parents let me fly there by myself. Cause it's very very rare that anyone in my family could go overseas just for a holiday. As my mom said, I'm the luckiest one in the family.

Now... I just need to get all my photos back from my sister.

arghhhhhhhh.
cannot take it.

today i remember this note. tomorrow i forget this note. i re-read. the day after tomorrow forget again. re read.
continue forever

evilness.

as the title says.

darn you.

i'll figure out a way to make them right.