progress: faster than before
studying: valvular defects

left:
rheumatic heart
infective endocarditis
valvular disease
cardiac failure
MI
IHD
Disease of arteries, veins and lymphatics
antiarrhythmics
drugs for cardiac failure
anti-lipidemia drugs
lipid metablism
regulation of bp
anatomy of blood vessels

days to finish cvs: 1 week.

shit

good medical link:
http://anatomytopics.wordpress.com/

progress: damn slow.
studying: congenital defects

left:
rheumatic heart
infective endocarditis
valvular disease
cardiac failure
MI
IHD
Disease of arteries, veins and lymphatics
antiarrhythmics
drugs for cardiac failure
anti-lipidemia drugs
lipid metablism
regulation of bp
anatomy of blood vessels

days to finish cvs: 1 week.

shit

i need a spine.

spine wanted

i'm getting so forgetful

!@#$%$%$#^&
i forgot that im supposed to return 2 library book and now i have rm4 in overdue charges.
seriously. wth is wrong with me? ever since cny holidays are over i feel as though my brain as degenerated into a lump of crap. i forget things constantly.
I'm so freaking angry at myself for forgetting such simple but important things.
I was always forgetful, leaving bottle here and there, forgetting if i lock my car, forgetting the parking space, leaving files here and there but never was i forgetful in important dates and events.
I'm so freaking pissed. but i think i'm being extremely hard on myself too. things have passed and there's nothing i can do to reverse the change. And here i am feeling like shit and beating myself up about it.
I think ever since i forgot that stupid PBL date i've been getting more stressful each day, killing myself constantly for forgetting such an important date. Bloody exams around the corner also doesn't help much.

i think i need to forget about everything ironic as that sounds and focus on more important things.
i need a breather. i need calm and silence. I wish time would stop for a day and just stop.

freaking pissed off. stupid crappy brain.

just cause i randomly thought of it.

i'm like a hiccup machine once.
siao chen, yik ming and hui xian should remember during the time we went for a pbsm camp, i hiccuped every single time after a meal. meals which were quite often.
cause well, it's a camp and they don't want woeful parents to come complaining to the school that their poor child has lost 100 grams after coming back from the camp.
that camp was really fun come to think about it. we discovered many funny things about our schoolmates.
and that's when i got to clean a toilet with hui xian. and prob waste a few hundred litres of water.

anyway........
at least i'm not as bad as a girl who i think has hiccup for the past 16 yrs damn, this guy called Chales Osborne had hiccups for 68 years. I wonder how the guiness book of record ppl certify that he had hiccups for the past 68 yrs...?

oh well. glad i'm not him

hiatus.

till my exams are over. or till i'm stressed i need somewhere to vent.

i need more pics to post up. maybe the camwhore pics.

when i'm free anyway. right now, all i can look at is notes notes notes.
but in actual fact, i stare at my com and tv more now.
ahh.. the habit of procrastinating dies hard.





and yet, here i am staring at my moniter. instead of the notes on my lap.

another weird dream.
and no, not about wedding bells or anything like that.

I told some friends about this sort of dreams i get.
anyway, a few nights ago, I dreamt i was being followed by a really weird brown small men thingy. I was pretty cool about it in my dream, walking around my house although i know i was being followed by it. Even discussed about what the heck it was with my brother.
Very scientifically i must add.

Then I decided to run into the thing. I was like "heck it. i wanna found out what happens if i bump into you"

Hmm.. bad idea i must say. I expected to wake up from the dream... but nooo..
The entire visual of the dream vanished. I was staring into blackness. But still in a dream

And I sort of went into a panic mode. I could have sworn that I felt the back of my body go icy cold. Seriously.. with my incredibly imaginative brain I was like "oh !@#!$! A ghost must be like sitting on top of me"
Oh.. i was aware of myself being in a dream all this while, so my conscious brain was still working.
Anyway.. panicked and tried to wake up. Only to find that I can't. It's like a really giant rock is sitting on your head and its mentally really exhausting to force yourself to wake up.
I remember now that i actually had the feeling where i was screaming in my head to get somebody to help me wake up.

Trying to wake yourself up isn't fun at all. First of all... I can actually open my eyes and see my room. Except that i can't move. Then the lid of your eyes will always feel like they are gonna close again. So repeat opening and closing eyes a few times. Sometimes if i can keep them open for a longer time period, i automatically wake up.

For this dream... i say i tried about 3 times before i get pulled back into the black hole of darkness. Then I did a really smart thing. I was like "this is a stupid dream. reality is... cardiovascular system and IMU." Then i sort of recall a few pages of the book I was studying before i fell asleep and yay! i woke up.

Turns out i've was sleeping lying on my front and the blanket wasn't covering my back (that explains the really cold feeling) and been asleep for like 30 minutes. It was 4.30 am and i had to wake up early the next morning. Hooray

This sort of dream happened to me before (being stuck in dream mode and trying to get back to reality). I googled around a bit and I'm not the only one!
Turns out a lot of people are like that.
Some worse off where they get this kind of dream EVERY SINGLE TIME they fall asleep.

Man... how horrifying is that.

Found out that most people have this sort of dream when they are really tired and fall right asleep after they hit the bed. So they fall into a deep sleep too fast.

And there is such thing as getting the paralyse feeling, called sleep paralysis. Apparantly our body releases some chemicals to paralyse the body so we don't respond to visuals in our dreams. For example, it's to stop your body from actually running or jumping when you are doing so in your dream. So when u wake up too fast from a dream, sometimes the brain still thinks its in a dream and so your body is still paralyse. But interestingly, your senses is still working. So most ppl can hear and feel xcept they can't move a muscle.
Wiki says possible causes are:

• sleep deprivation (checked. i was definitely sleep deprived)
• sleeping in supine position (umm.. was doing the opposite of this. was sleeping in prone position)
• increased stress (checked. constant reminder that summative 3 is around the corner)
• sudden environmental/lifestyle changes.
• was having a lucid dream. (checked. lucid dream means being actively conscious in your dream. meaning you actually can choose what you want to do in the dream)

wiki also says that most common people will experience this 1-2 times in their lifetime.

anyway, i think must be more frightening for people sleeping around the affected person when an episode occurs. imagine .. looks like being possesed or something.
opening closing eyes... breathing heavily.
eeee. I remembered i asked my sis once.
And good for her, as an elder sis she told me that a ghost was prob sitting on my head when i was pretty young. that freaked me out.

ish. so, if anyone beside you looks like they are having a pretty bad time while sleeping, do them a favour and slap them right across the face.
that ought to get them sit right up straight away.