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5:48 a.m.
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A flash of lightning appeared outside her window, followed by a loud thunder. Sam covered her ears and hugged her knees. Tears swelled up in her eyes, dropping in big splashes onto the cement floor. She sobbed quietly, agonizing to ensure she wasn't heard. There was a deep aching pain in her chest. She felt so empty that night, lost in this room of hers.

Her mother knotted her brows in worry. Her fingers felt like ice, fearing the worst for her daughter. She paced up and down the stairway, her stomach sick with worry.
"What shall we do?" asked June.
"Nothing. She needs to be left alone," David answered. "I'm sure she will understand us. We love her and she loves us"
"But-" June sighed, nearly in tears, "Can't I do anything?"
Her husband glanced at her. She could see there was sorrow in his eyes too. A blanket of silence covered the room. She knew there was nothing she could do for her precious daughter

The wind chime strike each other violently, sending their chilly metallic voices deep into the night.
"Sam?" A knock at the door. "Are you in there?" asked June, "Are you coming down for dinner?"
"Could she have done something stupid?"she whispered to herself. Awful images of her daughter slicing her wrist open filled her head. Her pulse quickened and she placed her hand on the brass knob. She held her breath and swung the door opened.
The room was empty. Curtains flew crazily in the room and rain water splashed down relentlessly on to the soaked carpet. Instinctively, her mother rushed to the opened windows. She looked down, hesitating to open her eyes. When she did, she saw a figure could be seen lying on the road, motionless.
She screamed. She heard the heavy footsteps of her husband before blacking out from the shock.

She remembered the last thing she saw. She jumped out from the bed and found she was in her own room.
"Was it all a dream?"
Reality crashed into her as she saw a police car outside her house. Their neighbours flocked around their compound, all interested to see what have happened in their quiet neighbourhood.
Her daughter's room, a mere 1 metre away seem like a thousand miles a way. Her vision blurred and she felt like throwing up. She could not stop her tears from flowing. Her world have just crashed around her and she felt like she was suffocating.
Finally, she came to the entrance of the bedroom. It was still in a mess. Nothing was cleaned or moved. Pillows were thrown everywhere and the clothes were torn to bits. Papers were everywhere, soaked with water from the carpet. June crumbled right where she was standing. She wailed loudly, unable to control her feelings anymore. She felt like she did 14 years ago.
She dragged a pillow beside her, hugging it. The scent of detergent still lingered on the covers.
At the corner of her eye she saw the carpet covered with bits of glass. June gathered her strength and pulled herself closer to the smashed photo frame. The glass cut her, slicing open wounds on her knees but she could not feel the pain anymore. There was a crushed photo lying beside the frame. June opened it up.
The photo was taken in the playground. In it was her and David. Between them was a girl of not more than 4 years of age. She had dark hair and brown eyes just like David but her features were delicate and gentle, just like her mother. Sam now blacked out all their faces with a sharpie. Tears flowed through June's cheeks as she read what her daughter scribbled on the photo; 'Am I just a replacement for her?'
Behind the picture was just one word: 'Sorry'

Explanation (for ppl who can't understand me (prob all of you didn;t understand the
14 years ago, June and David lost their daughter in a car crash. Unable to recover from the loss of their only daughter, they decided to participate in an illegal research revolving around human cloning. Using a lab in Asia (where regulations on cloning aren't really defined) scientist manage to clone their lost daughter. They named their 2nd daughter Sam. When growing up, they told Sam the girl in the photos she found was she twin sister who died in a car crash. Sam never knew she was a clone and she knew about clones comes from science fiction books and movies. When she was 17, she found something that she shouldn't have found. It was a research report on her hidden away in a briefcase. The story begins after she confronted her parents who eventually had to reveal the truth.
End story
Stupid story i wrote after doing too much bio work. English still sucks. Damn...
Blog report
8:26 a.m.
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For the purpose of my blog report, I have been finding a lot of articles about why people blog and henceforth. There were reasons like meeting new people, to chronicle their life, to update friends and family.
I know I blog to vent. And for the sole reason of venting, I have maintained this blog for 2-3 years already. See... another proof that I'm a complainer.But interestingly, half of the blogging community blog to vent too (or more accurately, to use as therapy). Personally, I think blogs can be therapeutic only to a certain extent. Nothing beats talking to somebody about it. As they say, people are selfish creatures. When we have a problem, we have to share so that the one of with the problem can feel more relieved while the listeners have the burden of worriying about the one with problem.

Apart from that, only 20% of the blogs available online can be put to use (educationally, as a source of info, etc). And there is a staggering 57 million blogs online now. I feel it's such a waste that at least 20% of the 57 million will most probably be spam blogs. I used to think that blogging will be such a great oppurtunity for people to use it for a great purpose of education or something like that. Now I know that 50% of all post goes along the lines of:

Lol... I guess I'm in the statistics too.


A levels? an exclusive gang?
10:56 a.m.
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Hmmm.... i do not know why but some of the members in my club from A levels really seem cold and distant. I mean... hmmm.. they use proper pronunciation and punctuation in MSN Messenger!
I mean they are way too serious. Everything they say or do must have a purpose.
Heck, and I thought that A levels is supposed to be more relaxed since their exams don't count for anything. That is the reason why they can join most of the clubs right?
People join clubs to have fun! But unfortunately, most Malaysians students join clubs to have something to fill up in their university application form.
It's pathetic as it is sad. Now most clubs' main agenda is the Committee Selection meeting where the most members will gathered. Subsequent meetings after that, most members don't show up unless they are a committee member or they are truly passionate about the club's purposes.

Now I know why my brother didn't join any clubs. If you can't relax and have fun in clubs, what is the point of joining them anyway?
Oh, joining clubs to fill up university application forms is really a useless thing to do. Unless you did something fantastic like organized a run and raised RM10,000, there is really no point in putting down any co-curricular activities in your form. Most universities will look at your results and equally as important is, no not co curricular activities, but if you can afford to pay the fees.
Yeah, some may say that they join games and clubs to get scholarship, but that's crap too. Most universities has a limited amount of scholarships. And while you may think you are outstanding, there are 10000 people just as outstanding as you and another 100000 ppl more outstanding than you.
So the probability of getting a scholarship is next to zero (unless you are the top student in your whole program in the whole world.. which is can only be one person.)

So, going back to the topic of A level students, I feel that they don't really fool around. I'm the "cincai-cincai" kind of person and I don't really care much about cracking lame ass jokes. Whenever I talk to them, I feel like they are looking down on me. Maybe I stepped on their toes or perhaps I played around too much. I shall act totally professional this time. Maybe that only applies to the students in my club though.

Oh... I just realized, my punctuation and spelling is almost near perfect in this entry. No more small letters in the beginning of sentences! No more stupid ridiculous sentences!
I think mixing with them has actually brought benefit to me!
A levels students are so smart! They are always so serious about things no matter how trivial it may be! One even pointed out to me that banging and slamming ain't the same!
I'm so grateful to be bestowed by your immense knowledge!
I shall forever thank you and remember you in my heart!
(Okay, I'm being sarcastic here. It was uncalled for and the person I intended it for may never have meant it that way. But, this is my blog and I can do what ever I want including having crazy mood swings! WEEE!!! @_@)


Rude people
5:18 a.m.
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Today, I went to Taylors to use The Web. I don't usually go to Taylors specifically to use the web since i have a computer and internet at home but my computer didn't allow me to upload items therefore I had to use the web.
Since this was my first time going to the Web during holidays, I didn't know what time it close and so on. I tried finding the time at their student portal but my com didn't support Macromedia Flash. So what the heck, I went to taylors anyway since i had to submit my SPM results too.
I stopped by the Web first and I noticed some students using the computer.
There was this ugly woman in taylors uniform packing some stuff. When I went in, she straightway said "clothes". I was like "HUH?" Then she ignored me. Then I said "Is it close?" She still ignore me.
Then I ask "When does it close?" Then she said "Go read it at the door!" half shouting in my face. All the students inside were also surprise (i found out most students were shutting down their coms already)
Stupid woman. Cannot pronounce properly some more want to scold people. Even if her voice was naturally loud (which is very unlikely) her face was i'm-so-freaking-pissed-cause-i-just-ate-crap-kind-of-face. If she is the wife of a multi million or billionaire then yes... u can scream and shove ppl around cause money is power (if she is a wife of some rich tycoon... i don't think she would be working in Taylors or caught dead in a fugly yellow Taylors shirt)
Bloody hell... When you are working, you are supposed to maintain a professional attitude no matter how crappy your day is (maybe the MPSJ workers that sweep the floor no need professional attitude la... even I knew to be smiley always when working).But that woman is supposed to be the face of TAYLORS COLLEGE!! The most freaking expensive college here. My fees of RM20,000 is supposed to pay this freaking rude staff? If i had a digital camera, I would snap a photo of the bloody rude woman.
9:26 a.m.
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SPM results!
8:19 a.m.
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Disappointed, devastated, shocked, flabbergasted, frustrated, sorrowful, sad, stupefied, dumbfounded, thwarted, unhappy, joyless, heart broken, woeful, deplorable. None of these words can describe what i'm feeling right now.
Because I'm actually happy and sad at the same time. Stupid eh?
I'm happy cause I got an A1 for subjects I didn't think I could and yet sad because I got an A2 for a subject that I am supposed to be good at and B3 for the stupidest subject in the world, EST.

EST is freaking stupid. Is it supposed to be a language subject or a science subject? This simple question could not even be answered by my EST teacher. According to my EST teacher, you were supposed to copy paste everything in the transfer of information. Doesn't matter if the sentence got grammar or spelling mistakes. Just copy paste like parrot. And for the essay... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!! You were supposed to use the words they give you as it is. No changing the tenses or spelling, no changing the order of the words. As long as you use it as it is with full of grammar mistake, you shud get an A1.
Well... that is all pure nonsense.
I shouldn't have followed my teacher's advise at all. So naive!! She didn't know what she was talking about. So dumb!
Now I regret. I should have taken Economics in place of EST also better. Stupid hell!

As for bio.... I do not know where I could have gone wrong! (actually I can't even remember the qws inside the paper...) ARGHHHHHHH!!! I WANT AN A1!!!

Shitty bio and est.
As for my results, i got 9a1, 1a2 and 1b3. I guess you can figure out which one got the a2.
ARGHHHH!!! (sry to be rambling about it so long! i just need to vent)


100th post
6:00 p.m.
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damn... i thought my 100th post will be more joyous than what i'm about to say.

Anyway, I went for the SAM fiesta on friday. The whole event was a success to the organizers since many ppl turned up for it.

BUT... only 6 ppl from my class showed up. I didn't feel like going already when I came back from college because I was sooooo tired but I will be wasting my RM20.
So, I thought what the heck.
Anyway, I didn't want to leave Pei Chern and Dharshini alone there (we were the only 3 girls there from G12)
At first, it was really boring. Pei Chern didn't eat the entire day so we were stalking the food table. PC was clearly relieved when she heard the MC annouced we can eat.
The food was mediocre. Nothing special. The usual finger food. I think the only thing that was nice was the drinks since they bought it (and also the chicken nougat and konyakku jelly) The burger was extremely dry. But that was what was expected for a rm20 event.
I was surprise to find some of our teachers there, helping out (mr kevin-distributing food and mr yong- holding the camera)
In school, the teacher shoved everything to us. No help can be expected from them. All they do is come and see that we are not messing up the place then say "Good.. good... make sure everything goes on smoothly" Then, in our opening speech we have to thank them... like they gave us any help at all (especially the headmistress and the penolong kanan... no idea why we need to thank them at all)

After we were given food, they had a few live performances. The band who got 2nd place in the Blast Off contest (organised by I wonder how did they get 2nd? Their music is awfully loud to be enjoyed and i can't understand a word they are muttering. I normally can at least catch a phrase or a sentence from a rap song... but for this group all i heard was "guahush suhsauas sahishdsj ahdjka djifjsi"
But people were clearly enjoying themselves & finally, people started dancing.
So, me, Dharshini and PC started dancing too. I must have looked kinda strange cause I was there to relieve stress. But what the heck... it was awfully dark and I myself can't remember what i did there.
Mr Kevin danced with a crazy SAM teacher too. At first he was a bit shy and the other teacher was dancing with everything she's got. Then when the other teacher slowed down, Mr Kevin danced really really energetically.. *laughs!!* I shud have bring my damn camera!!
(my bro took it with him to uni)
The dance floor was quite crowded at that time so i either step on ppl's toes or ppl will step on mine. Too bad for those who got stepped by me cause i was wearing heels :D
There were ppl doing "hanky-panky" there also at the back of the hall. Some were dancing very.... suggestively with their boyfriends... Very geli see them

Dharshini had to go back and Pei Chern was still feeling down so we finally went to the 1st floor and had a chat there. I went home at about.... 11.10. Stupidly, I forgot my keys and I was locked out from my house. Luckily the main gate wasn't locked. Unfortunately, nobody was downstairs and everything was dark. I tried getting the keys with the help of a long stick and an open sliding door but didn't succeed. I should have just called the house by then but my handphone had no credit.
Talk about coincidence eh.

the continuation is here:

it's password protected so if u want to know what happened, leave me a msg in the shoutbox.
the hardest week
3:48 p.m.
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I dunno why... this week is just so tiring. And it's only tuesday.
I've received so many bad news this week. All the news should have been happy ones... which were supposed to make me happy for weeks to come. They all turned into rather disappointing and frustrating news.
I wonder what news am I going to receive tomorrow?
I wonder what can make me more depressed mood than i already am. I really hate those people right now. I should have shouted at them instead of controlling myself. Maybe I would feel better then.
And if I shouted at them, they won't contact me anymore.
I won't have to see their faces ever again.

I just feel like hiding in a corner now. How I wish I can reverse time.
The Fall
12:02 p.m.
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the fall...

the higher you are, the more pain you will feel when you fall.
You can break your bones if you fall from a short distance but still recover.
You will lose your life if it's high enough. Too bad you can't recover from that.

That is if you fall physically.

A mental fall will just cause heartache.
The higher the fall, the longer it takes to recover.
Some don't but I will.
I always will.
4:13 p.m.
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I had Chemistry exam.
It was an easy exam.
I screwed the exam up (yet again)
I dunno why I took my time in answering the questions. We had 4 questions plus 1 essay to do in 50 minutes.
Everyone is going at lightning speed while i was writing in a crawling pace. I even took my time and reread the answers. ARGHHH
As everyone can guess, I didn't have time to complete the paper. My brain that day was also dysfunctional. The exam supposed to end at 2:50. For some reason, I kept thinking it was ending at 3 pm.
So when I reached the essay, I thought "Hey.. 15 more minutes... I can complete this paper in no time." Imagine my horror when the invigilator announced "5 more minutes to complete your paper"
At that moment, all Chemistry facts were replaced with cursing.
So... my essay was about 30 words long (more like 20 actually) Dang it.
I also realized at the last minute I forgot to answer one question at the beginning of the paper that i liquid off earlier.
Arghh... i don't even feel angry anymore.
Just regretful.
Oh well... I have maths test tomorrow. I won't be surprise if i don't do so well for this one. I got carried away watching tv. (i watched about 5 episodes of ROME, watched Music&Lyrics and also Ghost Rider with my friends, 2 episodes of Heroes, 1 episode of Death Note, 4 episodes of Naruto (yes siao chen! the fillers just ended!... oh wait, u don't have internet :P) errr..... and countless hours in front of the tv during my weekends)

Wish me luc!
busy week 2
5:21 a.m.
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another busy and tiring week
Had ESL test on wed. I HATE MY ESSAY!!!!! TT_TT
Dang it! I think it is the worst essay i have ever created in my entire life. ARGHH!!!
All my paragraphs were like beating round the bush. And my ideas were scattered everywhere! Why can't I have gift for writing? I would like to have that more than any talent in the world!
Yeesh... I hope I don't fail English. Annoying subject!
I can't believe that English is now the hardest subject to score an A. 11 years in government school has made my spelling and grammar rot into a pile of junk.

Just had Bio test too. I am surprised to say that Bio was easier than ESL.
HAHAHAHHAA!! I think my friends will hentam me if I said that during secondary school. I want to be a good writer but I can't! So embarrassing... English is my first language and I'm most likely gonna fail it.
I wish I don't have to take English as a subject.
LAN presentation and test is over too. Hardeep and Tony expectedly became the star of the play, wearing fake boobs and whatnot.
I'm just thankful I didn't forget most of my lines. Too bad the ending was hanging. We forgot to conclude the sketch. That is how clumsy we are.
Tomorrow is Chem test. Have to study now after Miss Tan announced that we (my class) are going to die in the MPH tomorrow X_X