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2:06 a.m.
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back in leeds after 8 days of travelling round Turkey, 1 day in London and 3 days with my bro at Wakefield (a city 15 mins away from Leeds)
Spent the last 3 days just bumming around and playing xbox. and I'll be spending NYE just chilling with a friend probably.
Life is good.

apart from an annoying hsemate.

(but let's not let her get in the way)

so today is the last day of 2011. in reality, the first day of the new year is like every other day (and so are every single day before and after that). the only difference is that i must remember to write "12" at the end of dates rather than "11". and i should refer "this year" as 2012.

it is a good time to reflect however. how different i feel compared to last new year's eve. and i'm on a completely different continent too (haha... last time i was back in m'sia for winter and ranting about how dreadful 2011 would be since i was due to fly back in a few day's time at that point)

let's see... what happened in 2011?
Jan- back from winter holidays in a very depressed mood. work picked up, and i didn't have much time to concentrate on anything else. i think it was my GP placement. learnt to hate the GP setting and learned that I'm better suited for a hospital placement. Passed my BLS exam finally!

Feb- datelines for everything. had that random snowfall during a surgical conference. busy busy busy.

March- mock osce and became depressed due to a disappointing tutor assessment. starting of surgical placements and was frustrated with the whole placement since i didn't manage to watch ANY surgeries. save for a masectomy.

April- a much needed break to Netherlands/Belgium. took in the sights of the keukenhof, a huge tulip garden, windmills, the mannekin pis!

may- studying like crazy and sat for my exams. started my lab research project which was sadly unfruitful.

june- PASSED!

july- flew back to M'sia for sunshine and fun. went to Penang with family and Sg with friends :D

August- met up with more people and had plenty of fun. even had time to make pineapple cookies to bring to UK

Sept- back here. started year 4 with GOSH- babies, vaginas, C-sections, liquor, lochia. weirdly enjoyed the placement! maybe due to the massive amounts of handson. hmmm... potential career?

October- Visited bro in his new home for the first time. hectic placement caused me to had a very regular sleep pattern

november- Paeds placement. had an awesome placement group. trouble brewing at flats

December - Won the paypal lucky draw (more on that in the new year ;) ). TURKEY!!!! which is super awesome.

hahaha... i am enjoying 4th year more than 3rd. I'm still struggling to get a better assessment then "satisfactory". It's a bit frustrating when you can't break through mediocrity. Tutors write comments like "good job". Nothing constructive at all. :/ i suspect my work isn't horrible but isn't excellent too. I'm stuck in this zone. (so maybe this as my new year's resolution?)

2011 overall hasn't been a fantastic year for me. but the end of 2011 is awesome, i hope it's a preview of what's to come in 2012. ahahahahhaha.

happy new year everyone!

10:12 p.m.
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psst.....lemme tell a little secret...

won a lucky draw. lucky because i won it, unlucky because i didn't complete my entry. but i still won something so my friends told me to shuddup and accept what i won. lol

hence my initial rant about karma mumbo jumbo on fb the other day ;) i'll post pics up when it arrives

onwards to reality...
coming to the end of my paediatric placement. Verdict: never going into paeds. if i somehow end up in paeds... please shoot me in the head cause an imposter has taken over my body without my consent.
i can't act "normal" with kids. i'm too stiff, too formal, too conscious. so far i hadn't convince any kid to let me examine them :( only those that are above 6 yrs old lemme examine them without kicking and crying.
and i can't calm a freaking 2 years old screaming their lungs out each time their parent lift up their shirt to let me listen to their heart. i don't even know what to do.... i feel like they don't even understand what the crap is happening.. so all those talk about "showing them that the stethoscope don't hurt them by examine their parents" crap don't work.

booooo.... then the parents just look at me like i'm some sort of doofus.

but i must say that my paeds placement is really good. i managed to go on night shifts (9pm-9am yo! i didn't sleep for 24 hrs on that day thanks to a delayed flight from dublin...), a&e, late shifts, etc. all those shifts we are left alone to clerk and examine patients that walk in... and formulate differential diagnosis and think of management. awesome stuff. 1 step closer to the "dr" title. hahahaha

and christmas is so very near. everyone else (and i do mean EVERYONE IN UNI) apart from the sad 4th n 5th year medical students are still having placements.

flying off to turkey this sunday :D so i'm blardy excited :D:D:D

come january and i shall start studying... hard core style. will be reminding me of how i studied for EOS 5. hahaha... not fun indeed. and i shall also start my psych placement. will be interesting to see if i'm interested in that. i like reading on psycho stuff so perhaps a potential career choice? hmmmm....

and electives, i'll definitely will be going to india in July. no idea where i'll be in august... sarawak? (damn la... so hard to find accommodation cause i'm the only one i know going there) or just do it in good ol peninsular?

decisions decisions....