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stress
10:34 p.m.
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stressed out of my mind. so many things to do, no motivation, no drive, no time.

recipe for the perfect burnout.

currently on obgyn. i now know why my friends were all so stressed during this rotation. so many things to learn and everything is so unfamiliar. sighhhh

12:45 a.m.
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The world's a depressing place if you let it get to you.

Looking at pro-ana websites isn't helping much as well. Ok.. before anyone gets the wrong idea, I stumbled across a blog of an anorexic girl (lol... googling if there was such thing as "thin mirrors" cause a friend commented that my room's mirror made people look thinner)
The posts that the girl's makes is really twisted. She shows how she makes such a considerable effort to not eat (surviving on 1000 calories a day. holy... that's like eating 10 biscuits for the entire day) and how she hides her anorexic habits from friends and families. Each post is accompanied by pictures of models, anorexic girls and celebrities.
My first reaction was obviously: shit... this girl is so dumb. her existence should be exchanged by some poor somalian baby.

Then, after a little thought, it's not her fault she has an eating disorder. The world place so much emphasis on being thin. God knows how many times I've complained about being fat even though my BMI is perfectly normal. Almost everyone I know has complaint about their weight. Although none has gone so far to be bulimic or anorexic, everyone has a slight tendency to anorexia.

Then there are other pro-ana websites. I'm surprised they are so easily found via Google as well. I always thought these are underground communities as society superficially frowns upon these websites. I easily found a site who gave tips on "How to prevent your doctor from finding out". Tips given was to drink lots of water to increase their weight, to drinnk hot beverages to increase their body temperature, to wear layers of clothing, etc. On the front of the page, they placed a disclaimer stating that the whole website was meant to be a joke and not in support of anorexia. But the whole website was giving quite serious advise on how to lose weight, exercise, dieting, etc. Not so much of a joke after all. Haiz... it's not surprising how so many girls (and guys) have an eating disorder.

Our world is so flawed....

moving on, MY NEW PLACE!

 stupid table. full of burn marks due to shisha by the previous tenants. the management is due to replace the tables (and chairs) by the end of the month