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3:14 p.m.
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SICK!!!

for the gazillion-th time this year.
my godd... i think i must be immunosuppressed or something.

the sides of my nose are sore from too much wiping. i swear i must have sneezed out a full cup of mucus (sorry to those who just puked a little reading that sentence)

gahhhh. sleepy too. can't get much done now. pbl research seems like the most horrifying thing to me now.
5:11 a.m.
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a contract?
of sorts.

i think i'm not committed enough. i'm always frustrated with the marks i get and yet I don't do anything different than what i did last time to improve my marks.
here i am, still procrastinating with the exams last then a month to go.
bleh. my rate of studying is progressing at 1 lecture note per ENTIRE WEEKEND day. zomg. the fridays the uni gives us for self studying is totally wasted on me.
so, i think this is a commitment issue.

I WANT THAT DARN ELUSIVE A. even an A- would make me on cloud 9.

so, i'm going to study and study. focus that mind and keep focus.
follow the timetable that i made (lol. which i'm gazillion notes behind. i think i'm supposed to be done with haemato by now). if i can't do well for clinical skills, i better do well for my theoretical side.

which reminds me: my clinical skills totally suck. i need more practise. and i need to stay calm. having a lecturer stare at you during an exam is definitely no fun at all. and i lack empathy unfortunately. too bad my personality is the type where i hardly show any diversity of emotions. so i'm gonna have to learn to fake it. fake empathy.
[some of the simulated patients acting is really over the top drama queen. there's this one patient where we are all scared of her. she is probably the x10 exaggerated version of paris hilton. + annoying too]

this is the scenario that happaned during my mock osce (mock clinical exams)

after taking personal details, blah blah blah
me: you look upset, may i know what's bothering you? (btw, i learned later that you should not say that a patient looks upset. that is called: assuming. never do that)
s.p: I'm worried about my medical report. i'm using the results to apply to a new job

me: why should you be worried about your medical result?

sp: because i was born as a blue baby. that's why i'm afraid it'll affect my results

me: *goes blank. thinking: how in the world am i gonna reassure her?*

post-exam, i'm still a little blank on what to say next. i can't say "don't worry. i'm sure the results will be alright" cause i won't know if the results will be alright.
i probably should have something like
"well, don't worry about your medical report. anyway,i'm sure if there is any problem with your report the doctor would be able to help you"
unless of course she has got high CEA levles or LDH levels (tumour markers).
arghhhhhhh. always hated behavioral science stations.
6:45 a.m.
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i crashed my car!!!!!!!

nooooooooooooooooooooooooo..................................damage done :D


technical details (aka boring crap):
location: junction at SS14 where cars turn in from the main road to head up straight to SMKSJ.
yea... that place where there are 2 hawker centres opposite each other at the junction.

me: turning right from the row of shops into the main road

other women: turning left to head to the school from the main road

how?: i stopped at the junction and looked. no car. moved. i guess i was being too cautious? cause i wanted to make sure there were no car coming on my left so i looked there. all this time my car is blardy slow la cause i only pressed the accelerator a little and just press clutch down all the while. meaning my car was running on its initial momentum.
BAM! shortly after i crossed (mind you, the accident took place when i was halfway across this women's lane WITH signals flaring to the right) This means that the women just only turned in. she wasn't there when i was looking. no car = cross la. if u see a car at the junction, no matter how slow they are but already halfway crossing (meaning their front wheels are way beyond the white line at the junction), do you:
a. brake. let the car cross.
b. accelerate and try to cross before the other car crosses
c. crash into my car for fun cause it's a kancil. you wanna know how much of a toy car it actually is.
d. brake. and curse your heart out because this stupid P driver kancil dunno how to cross junctions.
e. honk like crazy


I think the women chose either b or c.

so after a lot of sign language exchanged at the site of accident, i reversed to let her and the accumulating cars pass through the junction. i didn't turn this time but went straight so i can stop my car at the side of the road to inspect. looks like no damage done. i couldn't see the other car anymore. then when i went back into the car, joanne, who was in my car, also said that the woman didn't stop. blehhhhhh. so i went off on my way

now that i'm calmer and thinking straight, dunno if it was the other women's fault entirely. i could have avoided the accident too. BUT SHE ALSO COULD HAVE! (im telling the latter sentence again again in my head so the guilt is not there) + something is bothering me. did the woman actually stopped but at a farer place? or was she planning to make a uturn to come back to the scene??? did i wait long enough for her to come back?
cause i inspected pretty fast (the site of the accident was the exact same place i damaged last last yr. so i don't think that the dented area became any worst).
how long should a person wait for the other car?
i was thinking at that time that since my kancil no damage, her wira prob no damage also. + she was at fault so she ran away.
but i know that malaysian drivers will hardly ever admit that they are wrong (xcept at places like banging fr behind at a traffic junction) so there was a high possibility that she wanted to stop.
the only reason i could think of: she didn't want her precious son/daughter to wait at the school any longer (friday, school ends at 12.30pm, the time of accident was probably 1pm)

wat the stupid heck. if she makes a police report. hopefully wat ever damage that is done, she will not bother. i thought my headlights will be cracked cause i swore i heard glass cracking. hahahaa. kancil headlights better than wira's.
8:10 p.m.
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I checked out some of my old posts since Joanne was checking them out.
and

gosh.
darn.
it.

I feel extremely childish in those post. Fyi, i never did advertise my blog that much when i first started and only really started posting regularly in college. So the first few years of blogging....in my posts, my mind went free and posted anything i wanted. including childish antics, emoness, and a lot of name mentioning.

haiz. so whatever it is, here's a disclaimer:
"Whatever that is written in this blog only expresses my feeling at the time of typing."

I was also hoping that i would see a change in writing style and level of maturity in my posts comparing the current posts and those posts decades ago.

sadly, i'm still the same childish person with the same ol boring writing style. (which actually reminds me of a person complaining. so my whatever i write, it sounds like i'm always complaining. well, to me that is. not that i mind it a lot. it scares away curious people that stumble across this blog randomly)

it's already 3.25am. and raining extremely heavily. let's hope that i don't wake up in knee-deep water (highly unlikely tho, since i'm sleeping on the 2nd floor and my house is basically on top of a hill. :D)
7:31 p.m.
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It's crunch time babeh!

cram cram cram.

i find myself in the same cycle each time. darn u procrastinator brain.

on another note, went to a junior's bbq party. and found out that my cho tai ti skills are getting rusty. darn it. forgot to play blackjack. hahaha. another easy card game.
Tej's mom's cooking skills rock. love the fried rice and the marinated chicken.
thanks to all the poor people standing guard beside the bbq pit too.

__________________________________________________________________

was talking to a friend that i haven't talked to in ages eventhough we practically sit at the same row everyday for lectures. strange how distant people can be eventhough we are sitting beside each other. anyway, he asked a question,
"if letsay you would die the next day (touchwood), how many friends would attend your funeral?"
the first thing that came into mind was parents and relatives. but he said FRIENDS. hahaha. I'm actually not quite sure. I'm hoping at least 3.
it's hard to say as funerals are such a sombre event. If it was a birthday I would probably say 11 people would most definitely come if they could.
Then as we all are still "under the care of parents", we have parents as a factor to consider as well (superstition, etc).
Soo... I'm sticking with 3 people. Well, i'm not thinking that they would be terribly devastated with my death but they'll come just to pay respect.

which then begs the questions,
"how many of my friend's funeral would i go to (again, touchwood)?"
honestly, i don't know. I think would most definitely go for 6.

enough with the solemn affair which most likely to happen in another 50 years (which by then i hopefully get to know more fantastic people and still be friends with all my buddies) and on to happier things:

I'm done with my skirt!!! yay
My next project (which will be in august, sadly) shall be a blouse. a ruffled blouse to be exact. ahahahhahahahahahah.
my entire ensemble shall be complete before the start of sem 4.
:D
1:18 p.m.
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ADVERTISEMENT:
See this black string? It's no normal black string... it's
SUPER BLACK STRING!!

So you might ask "what was i gonna do with the black string?"
Well, you could:
1. Use it as a hairband:
(and you can tie it across your forehead to look like a Street Fighter character)

2. Use it as a skinny scarf

tadah!! not bad le... (excuse the pants. those are my sleeping pants)

3. Disguse as a waiter:
Forgot to wear the vest tho.

4.Use it as a skinny tie:
(Lol. i was actually trying to find a paperclip to hold the tie together like a necktie pin (is there a proper terminology for that thing?) too bad couldn't find any.)

5. Use it to look like gangster/emo/goth girl

6. Use it as a belt of some sort

Also useful for:
7. First aid emergencies! (use it to make a sling! or to tie newspaper/cardboard to stabilize a broken leg

8. As a weapon! Strangulate people. Or wet the cloth and use it to whack people.

9.To kidnap people! Can be used as a gag or as a handcuff

10. And finally.... to save yourself from a burning building or to escape from prison. just tie it to a sturdy structure and slide down!

Only USD450.

(Well.. i made that string today using the thin straps i was contemplating to use for my pinafore last time. i sewed those 2 together and voila! oh, the actual use is actually as a belt. my lameness has reached new heights. so is my knack for procrastinating)
SHOES
8:23 a.m.
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Wheeeeee.
i finally bought HEELS! who would have thought. hahahahaha.
i've always gotten sandals or slippers only. any heel i wear is either my mom's or my sister's.
but now i have heels of my own!
happy with the stuff i bought

My fav. hahahahahha


what the heck right? all the design nearly the same.
now u guys know what kind of shoes i like. but anyway, i bought them fr a warehouse sale with each priced at.............................. RM10/heel!!!

kuahahahhahaa
living in subang rocks
5:10 p.m.
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It's time to look forward.
I remember some "words of wisdom" fr a tv show some long long ago (yea. my tv spews out words of wisdom every 10 minutes. that's why i watch tv everyday. aahahhahaa):
"we were born with our eyes facing front cause we were meant to look forward not backward"

ok. super cacated words of wisdom. same like our nose was placed in front cause we were meant to smell frontwards. yes. very logical.

anyway, dear joanne and anyone else who reads my blog who received the results today *waves! hello!!!...[slowly echoing away....... i don't think most of my batchmates know i blog/bother. wateva. more freedom to crap]* look forward and not backwards. reflect on past mistakes and strive to amend them. now we shall have no excuse to procrasatinate as orientation is over long long ago and our juniors are already furnitures in the library.
actually, these words of comfort are for me too. i feel comforted already. don't you?
:D

thus begins my studying period again. i hope i do better in the next test as constant improvement is always a good thing. + I want to show off to my brother just this once(ah... the spirit of kiasuness)
till then, lalalallala. watch this space for random mumblings and very public anouncements of how much i hate medicine and exams.
HOLY CRAP
6:34 p.m.
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guess what msg i found lurking in my dA after nvr logging on for like.......................................................... 1++ yrs?

"Hey,

I am interested in making that "geisha girl" shirt you stenciled. how did you do it?!?! I love the shirt! Or if you could make it for me...I would gladly pay! :) Awesome!


asasdasdasda@gmail.com (obviously altered)"

ZOMG

i feel..... honored. AHAHAHAHA
obviously i won't sell or anything (+ this girl is in the US. headache related to payment is emminent). i'll probably be like breaking a lot of copyright laws too since the image was curied.

and i'm really pissed with the kind of crap ppl do with curi-ing images/quotes (quotes by famous ppl are alright. but a quote that a designer came up with to print on merchandise for a particular company? not good to steal at all) and then selling them as if were born into the world with every right over other ppl's hardwork.
enough ranting. so yea... hate those ppl. but it's rampant in m'sia. ah well. piracy rules.

but damnnnn... sideline business. ahahhahahaha
nah. too lazy :P
must improve sewing first. so i can sew my ruffled top XD
6:18 p.m.
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A BUG DROPPED ON ME TODAY. when i was sitting in the living room

after realizing that something dropping on my shoulder is not normal i started to freak out and basically did a super fast version of a bhangra dance (speed up x10) much to the amusement of my 2 parents.

definitely not amusing to me

then my mom took pity on me and checked my shirt for me. she said there wasn't anything there anymore.
yay!
so i proceed with watching the tv, making drinks (100 plus +honey + lemon. and yes, i drank this at 11pm. talk about leading a healthy lifestyle), playing computer.

then i felt an itch on my shoulder.. scratch scratch.. oo.. what is this i feel... something hard and ticklish..................................

ZOMGSTUPIDBUG!@#$%^#@#$%^@@!ARGHHHH

so i tore off my shirt and found the stupid beetle with a few legs missing.
talk about icky and disgusting.

reminds me of the time where i was supposed to be in choir practise that time (yes, joined choir for prob 3 months, then quit XD) when i started feeling something crawling in my shoe while we were all singing. after the song finished i practically flung my shoe 3 whole meters away.
stupid black beetle was happily crawling around in my school shoes

why beetles... why do u guys have a personal vendetta against me?
i pray to the beetle gods... pls don't kacau me anymore!

and that's the end of the super random but true story post.
6:21 p.m.
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I miss doing maths!!!
but it's so disappointing that these qws which all seem so familiar seems so foreign to me.
All mathematical laws and formulas i have totally forgotten

I FORGOT WHAT THE HELL WAS THE QUADRATIC FORMULA!!!
i can remember the time 2 yrs ago where the formula can just roll of my tongue at any prompt.
It's used so often that's it's impossible to even forget the damn formula.
now...................... T_T
I can't even remember what do we use (b^2 + 4ac)^1/2 for. I'm saddd
so today when my father asked me to help my lil bro to derive the quadratic formula... i conteng on 3 whole pieces of paper and i still couldn't derive it. I know that i managed to derive tat damn formula when i was in form 4/5. But now.....................................
So i google it. and lo and behold, there the derivation was. So freaking easy.

Well, as consolation i was actually on the correct track. only i didn't know how the heck to implement those ideas together.
+ i slept only 5 hrs last night, had a very long day and typing this with one eye closed due to sleepiness and lady gaga's music blasting away to keep me away (with no success). any spelling or gramatical error must be excused.

gahhhh